I have always said that if you want to know more about a rare breed or type of dog, look at the rescue listings rather than the breed profiles. In my behavior consulting work, the majority of my At-Risk Assessments result in the dog guardians feeling like they now have new ways to care for and work with their dogs, and they feel confident with new safety protocols and routines that suit their needs and the needs of their dog. But what about the people who are frightened, overwhelmed, and honestly not so sure they can go on? What if they can’t?
Myth: Anyone who considers giving up their dog doesn’t care
If you are struggling and you are willing to put in time, resources, and effort to seek out professional help, you clearly aren’t about to leave a dog on the side of the road or at an at-risk shelter. Being direct and honest that you may not be able to meet the needs of the dog currently under your care means that you are proactively thinking about their welfare, and most of all, that you care.
- If the organization or breeder you obtained your dog from won’t help and/or they recommend using physical force or other risky methods that don’t feel right, please contact a qualified behavior professional.
People who are worried about the safety of their family and those around them often have legitimate concerns that need to be immediately and expertly addressed. If you are concerned for the safety of yourself and/or your family, my advice is to trust your instincts. Waiting to get help will not make you feel less worried or scared, and it will delay the dog getting the help they need.
Myth: Rehoming only should happen if something is “wrong” with the dog
Sometimes a dog is not the right fit for a person or family. There are so many reasons this scenario can unfold. Sometimes the breeder or organization did not properly screen the potential home to ensure a good fit. Other times, both parties planned carefully and the member(s) of the home had prior experience with a similar type of dog, but the situation or context changed. It can be hard to truly understand what living with a dog, especially rare types, can be like at the specific time in your life until you are in the situation. Our lives are constantly changing and evolving no matter how lucky we are, or how well we try to plan. No matter your station in life or your resources, life is messy and full of unexpected challenges. Rehoming situations where the current guardian becomes overwhelmed and decides to make this difficult choice occur across and regardless of financial brackets.
In the world of terriers, sometimes the dog, the place of origin, or the current guardian are the “problem.” Sometimes, the situation is. Blame doesn’t help anyone, especially not the dog. Labels can end a story before it has truly begun. When we can, let’s avoid jumping to labels. A behavior professional won’t say your dog is “damaged from the start,” they will list the unbiased evidence and make recommendations based upon those findings.
Often there is nothing “wrong” with the dog, which makes the overwhelmed guardians feel terrible shame about even thinking about rehoming. They may decide not to contact the breeder or organization that placed the dog with them out of embarrassment and shame. Popular rescue groups for rare breeds often won’t take “aggression” cases, and will often soothe the burn of their rejection by telling the current guardian that the dog is just “damaged from the start.” If a rescue group rejects your case, please consider contacting a qualified behavior professional.
If a puppy is jumping constantly and nipping because they are untrained and want to play, they should not be pooled with dogs who are severely aggressive. All too often they are, because people are embarrassed to admit when they are in over their heads. Once the “aggressive” label is on a dog, their chances of rehoming can be limited.
Myth: Rehoming situations only happen with “bad” breeders
Yes, irresponsible breeders have a higher rate of rehoming and rescue situations, overwhelmingly so. Irresponsible breeders aren’t always abusive to the dogs. They often have significantly lower wait times and fees than reputable breeders, but these perks come at a cost: such breeders tend not to screen the prospective owners as well, and they also tend not to stick around when challenges occur.
Be skeptical if the breeder tells you a lot about themselves, but doesn’t ask you much about yourself. A reputable breeder won’t go on and on about their dog’s personalities: they will ask you about your lifestyle.
Tune in to the breeder who asks you a lot about yourself, and even questions certain things about your lifestyle. And don’t be offended. I wasn’t considered an ideal candidate when I got Miles, and I was happy to answer questions.
- I am deeply against lottery systems as means for breeders to select homes from waitlists. Homes for rare breeds should be selected based upon who will be the best guardian, plain and simple. Lottery systems mean that the breeder is playing Russian roulette with the future of innocent puppies.
Myth: All dogs can be saved
There really are no “bad” dogs, but there are dogs who face severe challenges. Some dogs come from such terrible backgrounds that they can no longer cope or respond to the world in ways that are safe to rehabilitate. There are also rarer cases where a dog comes from a wonderful background but also has challenges of this severity. If you are concerned, it is a good idea to connect with a behavior professional such as certified dog behavior consultant or certified veterinary behaviorist immediately. Answers are worth paying for. Meeting with such an expert who also understands the type of dog if the breed is a working breed or a rare breed is also extremely helpful.
If you are concerned or frightened, my advice is not to focus on the big picture. Focus on what is right in front of you in the moment and get expert help.
Some dogs seem severe and can be helped. In certain rare cases, rehabilitation will involve risking the lives of cats, other dogs, children, or adults. When the risk is deemed too great by experienced professionals, it is not responsible to risk lives. Behavioral euthanasia is one of the most painful decisions a pet guardian can make, and this decision should come with careful guidance. If you have been given clear guidance from professionals that no behavior modification or medication can help and that this is the only option, I strongly advise you to look into a support group, because you should feel supported, and you should not feel alone. On Facebook there is a by-application closed support group of over 8K members called Losing Lulu. If this has happened to you, my heart goes out to you.
Reality: Sharing these stories is HARD, but it is worth it for other dogs
We live in a world of knee-jerk social media backlash over everything. A world were it is easy for strangers to say that someone is terrible for going through something that is really hard for them. The reality is, life is complicated, and almost all of us are faced with an impossible choice at least once in our life.
If you have to rehome a dog, keep in mind that sharing your story, even if you get some backlash and don’t ever see any positive feedback, the honesty and good you put out into the world is never “for nothing.” That one person searching for help might see your story, and even if they never comment, you might change their perception and the life of the dog that they are finding a new home for, forever.
I have facilitated in the rehoming of many dogs. The new homes are the right fit for the dogs, and they have wonderful lives together. What is shameful about finding a dog the right home? Nothing. Nothing at all. Thank you to anyone who has recognized that they can’t meet the needs of a dog, and who have made the challenging decision to seek out the help they need to make this tough decision. Our dogs are our chosen family. It is never too late for any dog to find their family.
